did you ever feel like you got into a relationship at way too young of an age? i’ve been feeling this way for quite some time now. crosses my mind more than i expected. when i was single i thought i was too old to be going through my firsts. first kiss was in my freshman year of college with my first boyfriend who i am still with for almost two years. it’s not that long compared to most of the relationships i know, but it is really serious. we regularly talk about living together after we finish grad school and getting married. i know, it sounds crazy. and that’s exactly the reality that is starting to set within me-it is crazy. i’m too young to be talking about these things. i don’t want my future to be so defined. and if i am talking about the future with lloyd i start to doubt myself. our families are too different. i’ve lost some cultural aspects to my personality because of this relationship. and that isn’t lloyd’s fault it’s my own. i got so caught up im thinking everything will turn out how i dreamed it would be that i lost some of myself within it. i dunno maybe i’m just freaking out the way people do when they come to a realization but i know what i feel is true because it won’t go away. when do i stop putting off looking into the future and actually start to deal? i am too damn young to be worrying about this.
“Its a loong story why I couldn’t charge it, never got a hotel. Will tell you about it later but I just got home and am heading out again to ac tomorrow, I’m sooo tired right now but I just wanted to say goodnight and that I love you with all my heart.”
cue the heart melting.
who live in the street behind me and pass my house almost every day. the gang consists of six kids (around the age of 10), one dad, and one tiny boy (age five?) who struggles to keep up in the back. it’s the cutest thing i see from my window, and makes me smile every time i hear them squeal excitedly as they race past their dad. i want to do the same for my kids one day.
(via nerdiebirdie)
i think it’s ridiculous that a video game with no soul can keep you from actually caring that i’m upset. if you were truly concerned about me being honest with you, then you would’ve stopped and fully resolved the issue we had a little while ago. i just lost some respect for you as an individual because of that. i don’t know what to do if this keeps up. and if you ask me later why i’m writing this on here, it’s because i don’t have someone asking me what my problem is, as if being upset about this isn’t a legitimate issue.
CANNOT WAIT. going over to my old roommate’s new apartment and staying over, and then we’re off to the city to have a mini-adventure before the show! i’ll be sure to take tons of pictures :D
it’s weird how you appreciate things once their gone. for example, i couldn’t eat food at all today and every single edible item put in front of my face looked delicious. i wanted to eat dinner with my parents the way i usually do on sunday nights, and i wanted to snack on random chips and watch bad tv specials. i couldn’t do it. i had to drink a really bitter/salty drink and spend the day running to the bathroom- it was not fun.
this concept also connects with what i’m going through in my social life. lloyd you aren’t just a boyfriend, you’re my best friend. it’s hard for me to stop talking to you and i hope you know i am trying my best to stay away. i spent the day thinking about all these little things we used to do together and it made me appreciate them more than you can imagine. i started watching modern family and thought about the time you slept over on the first night of moving into my new dorm room, and we watched episodes and bonded with my new roommate over them. i miss those moments. i want to say more but i know it’s not appropriate. just know that i really have been thinking about everything and it’s not easy for me. i hope you’re spending the time doing the same.
if only if only…sigh.
